Chapter One: the 1940's
I was born in 1942. World War II was going, so it was not an auspicious time. I did have a rich heritage: my father's parents had come from Finland (I was the descendent of Mongols and Huns), and my mother's heritage was English, but there was a secret in the family, a kind of senseless bigotry of a prior age. I have recently learned that I am also the descendent of Native Americans, and that I could have legal status (if only we knew all the details).
My early childhood was very isolated, living in what is now a suburb of Renton, Washington. Since (by the Myers-Briggs 16-type scale) I am an "INTP/INTJ", a shy, introverted scientist type, none of this was troubling. We got our water from a well, eagles perched in the trees next to the house, and on two occasions my mother even shot at Chinese pheasants from the back porch.
My parents had wanted a girl, but I do not believe that means anything; however, one should be careful what one wishes for. Strangely, I cannot recall ever having wanted to be a girl. I remember being far more interested in things involving science, animals, and mechanical systems than anything involving gender differences. My parents were not religious, so there were no religious influences. My parents also never discussed anything involving "sex" with me. On two occasions, I got to try my mother’s lipstick. On the third request, she said "no", that it was "not for boys". This was puzzling, but it had no special effect on me at the time.
I do remember people’s comments, "Oh, what a shy little boy!" I did not yet feel "different", as such, though people did sense that there was something different about me. My TG friends tell me that they had received similar experiences when young. I have also been told that the majority of TG people are shy and introverted, but this may not be true.
I started school in 1948. I was set back to "Junior Primary", because I had flunked my oral exam for the first grade (schools were crowded after the war). Crying had not been allowed at the interview with two old ladies. Little boys who cried were not mature enough!
Boys I met in class reinforced the prevailing culture with comments such as "Being a girl was a fate worse than death," and "Boys were not to dress or act like girls in any way." In 1949, in my first grade class, I can remember wondering why all the little girls wore dresses and all the little boys wore pants. Where others saw set boundaries, I just saw an inexplicable division. Notwithstanding differences due to brain wiring and biological function, I still believe that men and women are pretty much the same once physical appearance, vocal pitch, and attire are filtered out.
Still, I felt no special desire to be a girl.
Last Modified Wednesday, January 08, 2003